Jill Jordan

Etsy!

2012-02-05T15:15:00.001-08:00

I just started an Etsy account! It's called IndividuCulture. :)

http://www.etsy.com/shop/Individuculture

Come check it out and buy stuff!

Shy girls.

2012-01-29T19:01:00.001-08:00

Beware of shy girls. From what I've observed lately, when given half the chance, they get completely carried away with their egos. Who knew?

I would have never even thought this could happen with shy girls until I experienced it and then processed previous encounters firsthand. It's just so unexpected. At least with outgoing people, their ego is apparent. Shy girls seem so harmless, and then BAM! Give 'em an inch, and they make it a really atrocious mile.

Then, then then then, as I've been processing this lately (like over the past weekish), I saw this shift in ego in two prominent formally shy characters (Jenny and Adele) on Season 5 of one my favorite shows tonight, the L Word. And their egos wrecked havoc once they came out of their shell.

I don't think every shy girl coming out of her shell is going to be negative, but just beware. Look for hints of what's hiding. It's either talent and beauty or just plain ugliness.

So! It's always true, but now I can knowingly say that there can be something lurking under the reserved surface of a shy girl... which oozes out like monstrous goop once the ego gets inflated. Great imagery, right? ;)

It's fascinating really.

I should have elaborated in the first place. Hope I didn't offend anyone :)

Love.

2012-01-26T21:21:00.000-08:00

The phrase 'falling in love' is so poignant. When you fall in love, really fall in love, you can't stop it. It's like this force that takes over. Once you've started falling, you're gunna keep on falling. So treat this beautiful gift with care, because it's the best thing that's ever happened to you whether or not you understand it.

Photo Source

Marriage.

2012-01-24T17:10:00.000-08:00

For the first part of my pre-adult/adult life, I just knew I would never get married. There'd always be those relationships that'd make me think, 'This is it!', but when they didn't work out, my original affirmation got confirmation. It was almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Or maybe I just hadn't met the right person yet.

I moved around quite often when I was little (I've been to 11 schools not including college) and I can't think of one instance where I saw my parents happy and in love. Then, as I started to come into my own as a teen, my first real boyfriend chewed me up and spat me out. I mean... I was incapacitated. I had to be resuscitated. My best guy friend was the resuscitator, who later became my longest romantic relationship. A whopping year and a half. And a tumultuous one at that. Then, the first relationship I had with a man who I not only was deeply, madly, harshly in love with but who also reciprocated feelings of marriage broke my heart, and out of a combination of isolation, desperation and vindication, I broke his in return. Then I sold all my shit, fit my life in a backpack and moved across the world to India.

So, needless to say, I've been terrified of commitment. I wasn't raised that way, and my first experiences in commitments either killed me or scared the shit outta me.

(These accounts are not necessarily blaming anyone, so if any of you read this, know that I am aware of my faults as well, and putting my truth out there is how I live my life as an artist.)

After many more failed relationships, I had resolved to be a serial dater, and later in life, a single career woman and mother of an adopted child. Yet, in every relationship (I use this term loosely), I was searching for a free fall into love. Love is the greatest experience of life, and I find it most beautiful and all-encompassing in a committed relationship.

I took another short trip to India early last year, and while there, I was forced to challenge my views on marriage. I was living in a commune-type situation run by an Indian retired divorce attorney who was completely against marriage. He believed that marriage always ended sour. But one night, only one instance, I found him in awe of an Indian marriage on TV, expressing in words and in his gaze how beautiful it was.

I took a Pranic Healing program while there, and my teacher, an older gentleman who reminded me of a wise Native American, was married. We would have these deep conversations about all aspects of life interspersed between the teaching sessions. One day, marriage came up. He mentioned how the fleeting marriages in the West baffled him. I asked, 'If one person's spiritual path is in one place/one situation, and the other's is in another, and their spiritual growth isn't together anymore, isn't that an acceptable reason to divorce?' He seemed very offended and told me that when you get married, you've made a commitment, and you need to stick with that commitment. That commitment is your spiritual path. That blew my mind.

I've been very into spiritual teachings from different religions, lecturers, Gurus, books... And more times than one, the teacher has mentioned that marriage is a sacred bond, that this is a commitment you've made in homage to God, whichever or whomever you choose to worship.

I believe that marriage is access to God, because God is Love. Love is union. Yoga is Union. Relationship is Union. These are all interchangeable.

I had a beautiful discussion about marriage with my lover the other night. I brought these things up, but then I still had a few apprehensions... How can you say you're going to feel the same way about someone forever? What happens if someone else comes along that you fall in love with? I told him that I knew I couldn't bounce back, because past relationships have killed me.

I don't know if he said it or I said it (I'm a little drunk off Chardonnay), but a mutual understanding came about that the trust which develops with time cannot be matched by an outside person, because it has been nurtured and fed for all that time by your spouse. No one person can come in and match that trust without that time and effort.

This reminds me of one of my favorite Gurus, Osho. In one of his lectures, he mentioned that if you continue to nourish your relationship, you communicate and remain conscious, there's no reason why you shouldn't remain in love.

I think that the reason people fail in marriage is that they either give into their animal urges or they fall into an unconscious, lazy state of being in the relationship where it's not nourished.

I just thought of a good analogy. How do you expect a plant to grow without fertilizer and water, without continued fertilizer and water? If you stop feeding it, of course it's going to die.

Conscious action, determination and trust are key, and of course, being with someone who matches you. Being with a person who's easy to love. Who you know deeply, who you know enhances your life. That's how a marriage works. That's how you keep it going.

Art.

2012-01-24T13:16:00.001-08:00

Anytime you give yourself over to your painting or your poem or your song (or any other medium)... you are truly an artist. Letting go of the fear and living in love.

Food for the Hungry.

2012-01-22T13:09:00.000-08:00

His kisses, like air

Breathe sustenance

Into my life

His eyes, so intense

I'm locked in suspense

Through the ecstasy

And the strife

Oh, the glory to come

Oh, the work to be done

'To change the world,' he said

'Undefeated,'

'Is a life we know we've both needed.'

'This partnership,' she said

'Will ignite Ascension,'

'For Us and for All,'

'In this dimension.'

Photo Credits: Travis Owen ~ Lover and Artist

Idealism.

2012-01-17T12:03:00.000-08:00

It seems an idealist is doomed in certain ways. An idealist can be a catalyst for many beautiful doorways and changes in oneself and other people and has the potential to change society, but an idealist must also learn to accept society and people as they are if they don't want to fall into depression and/or isolation. Which is a tough and contradictory way of living to pull off.

An idealist must cultivate a strong self-love, because when they're left out in the cold, even by the ones who they never thought would leave them there, they have to have a strong dependence on oneself to survive.

Having a large circle of close relationships may be painful at times, because people will turn on you, but another source of help comes from those who are there for you when others turn.

Strong self-reliance and trust in others always alleviates the pain.

I feel very blessed for those people right now.

Love in all aspects of life, including romance.

2012-01-13T00:16:00.001-08:00

Time flies when you're in love.

Photo Credits: A collaboration between Travis Owen and Jill Jordan

Compassion.

2012-01-04T18:28:00.001-08:00

The people who think there's no one else out there who feels the way they do or understands them tend to be the people who lack involvement with others. My Advice: Step outside your box to open up to people more and, most importantly, LISTEN. Practice compassion for yourself and others. :)

Relationships.

2011-12-30T18:10:00.000-08:00

Being in a monogamous relationship restricts your love and your world to one person in many senses - not only physically but mentally, emotionally and expressively (is that a word?) It may work well for some (I do believe it does), but I think everyone should analyze if their life works better being dedicated to one person or to many. In addition, we must all be sure (as sure as we can be) that the one person we dedicate ourselves to enhances our life as we do theirs. It's horrible to fall into a monogamous relationship with the wrong person.

My first art show!

2011-12-29T18:21:00.000-08:00

I AM SO FUCKING EXCITED!!!!! I can barely focus. Okay. So. I'm having my first EVER art show, a sidewalk show outside j27 Gallery, all day and night at January's Second Saturday in Midtown Sacramento next month!! For those of you who are unfamiliar, Second Saturday is the biggest art festival and event in Sacramento, which occurs every month in Downtown/Midtown Sacramento! I just wanted to share my artist's bio that I created!

Jill Jordan, a self-taught artist and intern at j27 Gallery, is exhibiting her work with a live demonstration outside j27 during January’s Second Saturday, January 14th from 5-9 PM. She currently specializes in abstract realism on canvas and adding flair to functional art through the mediums of acrylic painting and writing. Her experience and celebration of life is always inspired by a muse (or muses), which is reflected in all of her work. Whether conscious creativity or unconscious release, she aspires for innovation and personal growth in every piece. She finds exaltation in creating beauty in an unwanted item or, while painting, out of a seeming ‘mistake’. Please be sure to stop by Jill’s sidewalk show at j27 Gallery on January's Second Saturday, to check out the smorgasbord of acrylic-painted surfaces, from canvases to a magazine holder.

Photo Credits: C'est Moi!

Images from my show

Quotes I've come up with lately.

2011-12-22T12:51:00.000-08:00

Beauty, in anything - in a flower, tree, newborn baby, sunrise and
sunset - is natural and individual. Think about that the next time you
judge people based on mainstream society and put your fake face on. :)

Once people realize character is more important than status, we will
live in a better world.

In life, the more you put yourself and your creativity out there, the
harder it's going to be. Some will love you, and some will hate you.
It will be scary. But involvement and expression are fruits of life,
and overcoming your fears paves the way for growth. :)

Art is a conscious or unconscious expression. When conscious, you are creating something new. When unconscious, you are bringing your unconscious/subconscious to the surface and releasing it. Both are beautiful processes.

My art!

2011-12-21T22:29:00.000-08:00

Lillishna'vi ~ a play on Lillith, Krishna and a Na'vi

Evolution? Creation? Elusive.

Universal Opposites

Rebirth Through a Vortex of Self Love

Sugar Mama (Shows You the Paths)

Cabernet Trustisgon ~ Cabernet Sauvignon, Acrylic, Oil Pastel and Non-toxic marker!

'Latinao', a Latin-inspired TinManWoman with a poem in a bottle

'Like Attracts Like'

'Nature of Personality' with homegrown Paper Money plants

'Rapture'

'Hidden Meaning'

'Don't Get Burned', a vampire-goth-inspired candle holder w/ homemade business cards on top

'Get Wild', a Kesha-inspired emotional release on canvas with glitter and fishnets

'Character is Greater Than Status', a spiritual piece of mine

A hand-painted Christmas ornament

'Tahoe', a piece for my Grandpa

'Mr. Cool Guy Has a Soft Side', a piece for an ex-boyfriend

'Adolescent Snowflake Beauty', a piece for my mother

'Meditating in the Fire Between Two Forces'

My first fictional short story!

2011-12-14T23:49:00.000-08:00

Valor — n
courage or bravery, especially in battle

She adjusted the straps on her sleek white dress and looked in the mirror at her black eyeliner hesitantly. 'That'll do,' she thought, without realizing the exquisite blend of innocence and sex appeal she so masterfully created. She could hear her phone ringing incessantly downstairs. Not only had the girls been calling, but she had a missed call from Jeremy, the boy she exchanged numbers with at the mall last week. She blushed and giggled to herself. 'What should I do,' she thought. 'Should I wait until tomorrow to call him back? Should I call him now? I really want to call him, but I don't want to seem too available or too desperate or too into him...' Her mind spat the words out so quickly that she could barely hear herself think.

Never a fan of playing games, she called him back right away. 'Hello?' 'Hey Jeremy! It's Melinda.' 'Hey! What are you doing tonight?' 'Goin' out with the girls to that new club Valor downtown. Do you wanna join us?' She slapped her palm onto her forehead. As always, she spoke before thinking. To her surprise and delight, he said, 'Sure! What time?' 'Meet me there at 9? Feel free to bring your friends! I'll be there with three of mine.' 'Cool! Will do. See you there!' 'Alright, bye!'

Her heart racing and blood pumping, she called the girls back and told them she'd be there soon. She couldn't stop thinking about how attractive Jeremy was, how she didn't think she was good enough for him. This was of course interspersed with fantasies of their first steamy makeout session up against the wall on the dance floor.

She got there around 9:05 and saw Jeremy outside looking incredibly handsome in a navy blue button down and his hair ever so perfectly styled messily. She felt a surge of inadequacy weighing down her chest, but she ignored it. There was an awkward first hug between them, but the sparkle in his eyes the second her eyes met his seemed promising. He had been waiting with two of his friends who were very lively and polite, so she had a good feeling about where the night would take everyone.

They went inside the dimly lit club, and Melinda noticed the elegant yet industrial vibe of the décor. It was intimidating yet inviting. The girls were over at the bar getting another dirty martini. After kissing them on the cheek and introducing everyone, they all started dancing. The beautiful thing about this was that there was no awkwardness, and no one was left out. They all danced together harmoniously. Melinda and Jeremy were inseparable.

After a few dirty martinis and witty exchanges, Melinda felt more confident. As Jeremy stepped outside for a cigarette, she followed. He was posted up against the concrete wall outside, and she leaned her left shoulder on the wall next to him. 'You look great tonight,' she said, gazing at him from head to toe. Pleasantly surprised, he turned towards her and said, 'You do too. I love your dress.' She adjusted her straps nervously. Jeremy drew her in, gently put his hand up to caress her cheek and kissed her with equal parts passion and gentleness.

He softly pushed her bangs back, looked deep into her eyes and adoringly said, 'I can tell you're gunna be dangerous.'

The enveloping relief she felt from knowing he was also scared yet ready to see where this could go, accompanied by the irony that this new club's name was Valor, was pure ecstasy.

Individuality.

2011-12-01T20:21:00.001-08:00

Identity is a continuous chameleon

And my patience is wearing thin

It is contradiction and fiction

For those who practice adaptation

We are the writers

And it is our creation

I revel in pop culture

Counterculture too

I don't know what I should become

Individuality is the conclusion I came to

But humans compartmentalize

A human unidentifiable they despise

Venturing outside the pack

Is courage most lack

My non-discrimination has been my desolation

Yearning for support

I look within

Pop culture

Counterculture

Individuculture

We are the writers, and this is my pen.

Returning to the nature of nature.

2011-10-25T21:38:00.000-07:00

I wish we could return to a more simple life - one of life in the wild, raw and natural - pure, drinkable streams and a deep relationship with each other and nature. A true oneness. The separation of our current society and the shift in priorities saddens me. Life is not a rush to the finish line where you exhaust yourself accumulating material possessions and societal status. It must be enjoyed.

Alone (Freedom From Misery)

2011-10-25T21:21:00.001-07:00

Torture of my past

And now I'm free

Sweetness of liberation

From Misery

Balance achieved

Alone I bleed

A beautiful creed

Blood thickens me

Strong and Free

Alone I stand

Hand in Hand

Without a man

I live inside

Yet

No need to hide

Immersed

Beautiful dispersion

I write to live

I live to write

I write before I think

How I live my life

Inspiration

Intoxication

Alleviation

Alone

I live for this

Competition and Compassion.

2011-10-19T14:00:00.000-07:00

For the past week or so, I have been questioning whether or not competition is necessary in our existence.

I believed that we should make a complete mental shift from competition to compassion.

That in this way, we would be able to love and respect each other more, strangers included. We would all share what we have and see ourselves as a collective individual entity.

But I know that's too idealistic in our society as of now.

(It's still a beautiful thought to keep in mind though)

I was sitting in orientation for my new job two nights ago listening to competitive incentives and company goals, and I realized that competition is necessary in a capitalistic society, one in which we live.

Competition is necessary to attain our goals, whether they are individual, collective, financial, altruistic, status-oriented, etc.

There are always going to be other people and companies that you will have to beat in order to attain these goals.

We could either fight this or learn to adapt and find a middle ground.

The conclusion I have come to is to practice a blend of competition of compassion.

Strive to be the best and realize that will mean competing against others, but also treat them with dignity and respect. Help them when you can, even if they are your competition.

We are ambitious in this society, yes, but we are also human. We cannot forget our humanity.

We also need to realize that everyone has their own talents and opportunities in life. All too often, I see petty competitive mindsets among friends, family and lovers, and no matter what ambitions we have in life, love is most important.

Money and status and goals are simply physical, and as I pointed out in my last (angry) blog post (haha), physicality is fleeting.

Yes, physicality exists, and we must learn to adapt to that, but love is always most important.

Life.

2011-08-10T18:28:00.000-07:00

You do realize that we're put on Earth for a reason, right?

It's a fucked up society humans have created here, full of power schemes and financial gluttony, yet there are so many opportunities to learn, about ourselves and our relationships with all life on this planet.

To learn about love, beauty, truth and freedom.

We're here to learn.

My life is not determined by my external achievement.

And I don't think the ultimate in life is making $50,000 a year being a corporate drone.

Life is intense and scary. It's painful and exhilarating and breaks you down to help you grow.

That's what we're here for.

To grow.

Not to live in personal stagnation thinking we're making something of ourselves.

Can you bring your money and societal power with you when you die?

No.

It's only physical.

It is fleeting.

The Chakras.

2011-08-03T10:40:00.000-07:00

I'm sure many of you are familiar with the chakras, the seven main energy centers of the body.

While I was meditating on my lunch break yesterday, I had an epiphany.

From what I've already learned, energy starts at the base of your spine in the first chakra and ascends up to the top of your head at the crown chakra.

Master Choa Kok Sui, an internationally known Pranic Healing Guru, said that each of us have energy also extending out of the top of our heads connecting to God (right where the crown chakra is).

And from my Guru, Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev, along with Master Choa Kok Sui, I learned that the base chakra, located at the base of your spine, is the energy center of self-preservation and survival.

So, the chakras move from survival to Godliness in a straight line up your spine.

Each chakra, from the base to the crown, has its own functions of spiritual evolution:

The first chakra, or base chakra (located at the base of your spine), as I mentioned earlier, is the center for survival instinct.

The second chakra (located at your sex organs) is the center of sexual instinct and lower creativity (i.e. reproduction).

The third chakra (located at your solar plexus) is the center of your lower emotions (i.e. jealousy, anger, worry, anxiety, hatred, etc).

The fourth chakra (located at your heart) is the center of higher emotions (i.e. peace, joy, love and compassion).

The fifth chakra (located at your throat) is the center of your higher creativity (i.e. art that changes society) and lower intelligence (i.e. studying, planning and practical knowledge).

The sixth chakra (located at your third eye) is the center of willpower and higher intelligence (i.e. philosophers using abstract ideas).

The seventh chakra is the crown chakra, your center of Cosmic Consciousness, right where you connect to God.

I learned the functions of these chakras from Master Choa Kok Sui, the Pranic Healing Guru, since Pranic Healing is a method to heal the chakras of the body. Sadhguru (my Guru) also mentioned them as well.

There are also physical correspondents to these chakras to heal someone physically, but I'm not gunna venture there just yet.

So here's the epiphany...

Those who are in communion with God (through prayer, for example) receive energy through their crown chakra, through the energy that is connected to God, and God helps them with their spiritual evolution.

Those who do yoga (which is any practice of union from the physical postures and breathing techniques to having an orgasm and falling in love) are personally moving the energy into higher chakras in their body for higher evolution.

Side note: Yoga is so much more than the West has turned it into. It is union in all senses of the word. It is meditation. It is dying into any action, into any person. Yoga is forgetting yourself, egolessness.

There is a combination of faith in/a connection to God and the power of Yoga for spiritual evolution.

Each one of us has the capability to reach Godliness.

And to put our faith in God to help us.

It is a combination of God and Us.

Don't put all your faith in God. Put some of it, yes. But also put faith in YourSelf.

Pray, find a Guru and practice Yoga in all senses of the word.

Image Source 1

Image Source 2

My Newest Theory on God.

2011-07-23T23:43:00.001-07:00

I have this theory that everything, every action and everyone has a God attached to it, flowing through it, living inside of it, waiting to be tapped into.

And that some people live in unconscious actions, which are not actions of God.

God is Consciousness.

And each God all stems from one energy, the Great Spirit of God.

You just have to tap into that God, respect its greatness, get to know it, bow down to it.

Pray, do yoga, love others, love yourself... however you roll.

Then that particular aspect of God is accessible to you.

God is in everything.

Whether it's in Mother Nature, Goddesses, Jesus Christ, an Enlightened Guru, The Occult, Buddha or yourself, God flows through them all.

Western Meditation.

2011-07-18T23:46:00.000-07:00

I have experienced deep meditation/yoga in many different forms... Hatha Yoga, Kriya Yoga, Shoonya Meditation, Breath Watching Meditation, Twin Hearts Meditation, various Osho Meditations, Meditation in the presence of Gurus and Sacred Spaces in the Himalayas and Ashrams in India... And now that I am back in America, I am noticing the same results that I get from these forms of Eastern Meditation/Yoga as I do in everyday happenings here in America, such as working out at the gym, making love and the orgasm.

After working out at the gym, I feel a release and body-mind peacefulness. I feel that something pent up, negative emotions and blocked energy, is released, that as I am moving my body in intense, steady, focused motion, I am meditating. Meditation is a steady, intense focus on nothingness, after all.

While making love, I feel a certain death. Me, who I am, my ego, completely fades into the other person, into this beautifully intense experience of a body merging with another completely, of all guards, limits and boundaries coming down, fading away. This death, this silence, this intense emptiness, is death, is meditation, is love-making.

And the orgasm is a complete emptiness of the mind, almost as if as you reach orgasm, you are also releasing the mind for a few moments, maybe even minutes if your orgasms last that long. Who can honestly tell me that they were thinking about something while having an orgasm, one of the most intense experiences we can have as a human (in my opinion). The mind is gone. That is meditation.

Meditation can be found in everyday life, anywhere in the world.

Namaste.

Beauty?

2011-06-14T20:33:00.000-07:00

My hometown is what you would consider 'the burbs.' And don't get me wrong; It's really starting to grow on me. However, this is a town full of women (not ALL but MANY) with similar insecurities: who feel pressured to spend hours at the hair stylist, who spend at least one hour blow drying and straightening their hair every day because their natural hair is 'gross', who won't leave the house without hiding their faces underneath pounds of makeup, who 'need to tan', who starve (or purge) to stay a size zero, who lie about their real weight, who get plastic surgery before they even finish higher education, and you know what? All of this wouldn't bother me so much if they didn't say shit to me like 'OMG! I ate like three crackers today,' or after spending all that time in front of the mirror preparing for a night out, say, 'OMG! I am so ugly!'

All the effort, money and enjoyment of life and oneself is wasted! I know what it's like to feel so pressured by society and the media to manufacture a 'beautiful image', but this is straight-up unhealthy! It's time to create a new image of beauty, so girls like me aren't purging in 8th grade and don't have to travel all the way to India to learn how to love themselves, how to feel comfortable in their own skin.

I am seeing a shift in beauty consciousness (as I like to call it) which makes me hopeful for the present and the future. Apparently, in Maxim's Top 100 Sexiest Women of the Year issue, Anne Hathaway, the girl who played the fixer-upper in the Princess Diaries and the Devil Wears Prada, made it into the top 10! And may I add that she was fuckin hot in Love and Other Drugs!

Image Source

Art. And monogamy.

2011-04-12T10:57:00.000-07:00

Have you ever noticed that artists have to be emotional people? And the more emotional, the better? The emotions, the deep intensity, can transmute itself into deep, intense art.

I was once hanging out with a former teacher of mine from college, and when I was mentioning my art, he said that he could never be an artist because he wasn't an emotional person.

My lover also mentioned this fact last night. He and I are both very emotional people, and art for us is cathartic.

I remember being in a monogamous relationship with someone and hanging out with an ex boyfriend, and once he left, all that pent up confusion was released with acrylics on a canvas.

Speaking of monogamous relationships, I'm not against them, BUT I do have a few points to make on the subject. I would like to offer gratitude to my lover for inspiring these points to come to the surface in my mind. Some were his points; some were mine inspired by his.

Being in a monogamous relationship puts so much pressure on the people involved that they tend to walk on eggshells more than they would with a friend. They tend to hold back more in fear of hurting the other person. They tend to resist natural attraction to other people to remain faithful to their significant other, even if there is an emotional, mental or physical need to explore with someone else, even if that someone else could be more beneficial for their growth as a person, or even beneficial in addition to the person they're already involved with, even just on a mental and/or emotional level. But then there's that widespread taboo idea of emotional cheating, and where do you draw the line? People also tend to fall in a tendency of being with someone out of habit and out of a co-dependent need. People oftentimes are not happy with themselves and need that constant reassurance.

Don't get me wrong. I feel that there are some rare, lucky couples out there who have an open, honest, monogamous love relationship and are still best friends, who could potentially offer everything physically and emotionally that the other needs. I believe that there are some people who are happy with themselves, love themselves, are independent... and just want to share that with another.

I believe that Team Jyna is quite possibly one of those couples, from the interactions I've had with them. They are definitely still best friends while being in a monogamous relationship, and it truly inspires me, because I am a hopeless romantic who wants to find my other half to explore life and love and the world with. Many blessings from my end to theirs :)

Destiny.

2011-04-04T21:41:00.000-07:00

Pulled between the dark and the light

I fight

Fight for righteousness

Fight for the light

Fight against fear of the night

Fear is the enemy

The enemy is telling me

To give in

But I wont

I will grow

While rooted

Sure-footed

It is my fate

Creating my destiny

Freedom. Love. Perfection.

2011-04-01T19:39:00.000-07:00

I could manipulate you

And become your queen

I could drown in the scene

I could paint my face

My dress

My embrace

But the love would fade

Love would transform

Into societal norm

And fame and fortune are catastrophic to the soul

I see the appeal

I feel its pull

Underneath me, above me, beside me, inside me

But I am stubborn

And I will fight like a bull

I stare deep inside

As deep as I can go

And I see you, Master

As a Goddess,

As an Animal,

As Mother Nature,

As a Guru,

As a Foe

Whichever shape, whichever form

Can break the norm

Freedom and perfection

Are open to subjection.

Bigger and better.

2010-12-20T10:52:00.000-08:00

When I think of my life, when I think of the lives of others who open up to me, we talk of bigger and better things, especially lately. We always want bigger and better; our careers, our experiences... 'I want to move on to bigger and better things.' I think this is common. Always pursue your dreams, whatever you believe to be bigger and better. And if there is no bigger and better in your mind, be happy where you are in your life. Be grateful every day. You can even be grateful for what you have while still pursuing your dreams, the bigger and better.

My sacred space I've created in my living area reminds me to bow down and be grateful to everything and everyone I encounter in my life. I'm working on achieving bigger and better until I find where I wanna be, while still being grateful for the process and what I already have.

Always remember to pursue your dreams and appreciate what you have. Enjoy the ride, and enjoy where you end up.

Finding your place in the world is beautiful.

A middle-of-the-night epiphany.

2010-12-13T17:35:00.000-08:00

Gossip Girl is a show about a group of idealistic young adults who are unwilling to accept that society rules them, their past will decide their future, their parents' blueprints for their lives define them and money and social status will make them happy... no matter how rich and priveleged they may be.

I love this show.

Gossip Girl.

2010-11-21T22:47:00.001-08:00

Gossip Girl is a show with much inspiration to be taken from it.

There are two issues to be addressed from last week's episode, The Witches of Brunswick.

The first is the outcome of female jealousy.

Serena van der Woodsen is a beautiful, influential woman who shines. She is always trying to better herself and does not thrive on her social status. It was simply what she was born into. However, there are women out there who try to sabotage her reputation, love life, friendships, family relationships and education/career because she has what they don't: male attention, confidence, radiance that shines.

It is truly sad that the insecurity of women causes them to act out. These women who shine have feelings and lives too. They just want to be who they are and love themselves and have people love them too, and that's hard enough. Jealousy stems from insecurity, and someone should not have to pay for another's insecurity. It's truly upsetting.

The second lesson: Women in society who strive for positions of power should not have to deal with living up to a man's standards.

This quote from the episode sums it all up:

"The man you're with may not be a reflection of you, but you will always be a reflection of him."

This is what Nate's mom, Anne said to Blair as she denied her ownership of a philanthropic 'women's empowerment' foundation due to the fact that she is dating a certain man named Chuck. What the fuck!

Do you know that women still don't make as much as men in the workplace?

This double standard exists in so many senses of the phrase, and it's disgusting.

If equality is the goal, then we women need to prove that we won't put up with being treated as second class citiizens and work on constantly improving self-love so we don't take it out on each other. We need to work together if we want to be seen as equals, if we want to be less objectified and more respected as fellow human beings.

Amen? ;)

Falling in love.

2010-11-03T23:19:00.000-07:00

Sadly, love is a commonly misused and misunderstood word, and I have to share my short but in-depth knowledge on the subject of falling in love.

To fall deeply in love with one person is only a possibility if you have forgiven and moved on from those you previously fell in love with.

I hope this gives you motivation and inspiration.

Namaste.

The root of intolerance.

2010-09-23T21:41:00.000-07:00

I've been finding myself wondering why people are so intolerant all my life.

Recently, all the ideas I've picked up over the years blossomed into an epiphany.

Our brain is separated into two parts: left and right, logic and intuition. Reasoning in your mind stems from what you derive from the use of your logic and intuition.

Society conditions us to always have strong, unwavering reasoning, in our education, in our politics, in our culture, in our religion, in 'understanding' what labels to slap on a person.

So, think about the way alot of people categorize things: male or female, love or hate, good or bad. Oftentimes, people don't think this and that, or even something entirely different than this or that, because it 'doesnt make sense' to their reasoning. They base their opinion off of information already gathered, what 'makes sense'.

So think about truth. The truth that you know can be entirely different from the way reality is, and your truth can be entirely different from my truth.

Just look at astronomy. We never even knew Pluto existed. Therefore, It didn't exist. Because it wasn't a part of what we already knew.

When trying to understand the complexities of the human mind, or even the universe, our reasoning, or what we know now, is not enough without realizing that there are other people and life forms out there experiencing life in a completely different way.

Our perspective, our filter, our reasoning, our view of the world... is simply an accumulation of what we've learned and experienced. This is your world, but realize that everyone's world is different, and you can never compare people to they way you are, because you are an individual. And so are they.

You are not right, and neither are they. It's just the way it is. And both of your worlds, your perspectives, your reasonings are different.

I believe all the wars, all the fights, all the intolerance in the world is rooted in the inability to see a world outside of one's own, to put oneself in another's shoes, to realize that we are all individuals, and that's okay.

The Power Structure of Relationships.

2010-08-09T23:26:00.000-07:00

Recently, I've found myself questioning the idea of dominance and submission in our interpersonal relationships, be-it friendships, familial or romantic relationships...

I asked my friends:

'In a relationship, do you think that one has to be dominant and the other has to be submissive?'

Straight guy friend #1:

'i think so. granted i know better than to use the words "always" and "never".'

'depending on personality types it may not look like domination, but there is always one person chasing the other. it's never.... equal. the other thing is, its about impossible to reverse the direction. i've seen it happen but it's rare'

Straight guy friend #2:

'in certain instances....but not in general'

Bi girl friend #1:

'hmmm, not necessarily. but it works out that way a lot.'

'i think that its easier to slip into the dom/sub roles because of human nature. but i've had relationships where we worked together as equals'

'just with my ex i fell into the sub role super easily because he has such a overpowering dominance that it was easier just to not fight it'

Bi girl friend #2:

'i think it depends'

'because it depends on like the persons needs i guess. if i want something im dominant. if i dont care too much then im passive n i dont try'

Straight girl friend #1:

'no it should be equal. theres always gonna be things were one person is dominant and the other is submissive but it shouldnt always be one sided'

Straight girl friend #2:

'I think each should be dominant and submissive to different things'

Lesbian girl friend #1:

'not at all. I don't think roles should define a relationship, esp for women relationships, because women have a tendency of really stressing labels and really over defining things. they need to learn to let go and just be in the moment, no sweat'

'i go both ways when it comes to being dom and sub,.. it creates a good sense of variety'

Lesbian girl friend #2:

'no. not at all. it's healthier to be balanced ....but that's just me. i don't believe in absolutes, just balance...that can be in the form of taking turns too.'

Now, my opinion...

The power structure of a relationship depends on so many variables: accumulated personal wisdom and life experience (i.e. mother or teacher figures), open-mindedness/rigidity (i.e. traditional gender/familial roles), personal insecurities (i.e. some people need to feel dominant, or even submissive), intensity of desire or lack thereof...

Sometimes, a power structure is needed for the relationship to flow in a certain way... or it's based on the life situation the two people are in... or at a certain point in the relationship, one person is emotionally/mentally/physically weak and the other is more stable and strong.

However, I do believe that the ideal romantic relationship is one where the two are on equal footing, with equal desire and respect and openness... to a point where they switch power stances... and sometimes, power is not even a question: They have simply merged in union, in love.

What a fun piece to research/reflect on/write! Thanks for your contributions, everyone!

Identity Unraveling.

2010-07-26T23:09:00.000-07:00

Tell me what you want, baby

I have no identity

The identity speaks through me

I can be yours

A teacher, a preacher

A prude, a whore

A lover, a fighter,

A sinner or saint

A muse, your fuse

But I'll tell you what I ain't

I am not this ego

I am not this face

I am a space filling slowly

With love and with Grace

Of Vindication, Of Relation

2010-07-23T19:35:00.000-07:00

Heart consumed in decades of destruction

Mind immersed in expectation of relation

I'm never satisfied

Chronic dissatisfaction?

Shall I relinquish all action?

Is it possible for an impatient predator like me?

I scream and cry

And break and rebuild

All the drama

My heart bursts

And is then refilled

My chains bind me

But without them, ego would never be

I could relish in my pain

Pretending to hate it

Or
Vindication

Of release, of art, of writing, of relation

8 Things Thursdays: 8 Insights

2010-07-01T18:43:00.000-07:00

Truth:

"If you are truly a seeker of Truth, Truth can not hide from you. It is in the Lap of truth that you have happened." -Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev, my Guru

Truth is subjective. My truth may be different from your truth, but the Ultimate Truth is unquestionable: We are all one. -me

Freedom:

"So there is only one thing which is totally free and that is choiceless awareness. Everything else is limited." -Osho

Acting out of self-confidence, void of societal pressures, is one kind of freedom, but choiceless awareness, egolessness, is the Ultimate Freedom. -me

Beauty:

"Love of beauty is taste. The creation of beauty is art." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

And nature is a creator. -me

Love:

"Loving someone else deeply means loving yourself, and that's hard to do, and it's insane to lose that love and feel that you lose yourself" -my dear friend, Nathaniel

Love is the merging of the subject and object, when this you, this ego, dies into something else. Love is union, and yoga is union. So therefore, love is yoga. -me

Music:

"There's music in the sighing of a reed;
There's music in the gushing of a rill;
There's music in all things, if men had ears:
Their earth is but an echo of the spheres."
-Lord Byron

This entire universe that we know is a vibration of energy, and every vibration has a sound. Therefore, everything is music. But when certain sounds are put together with the strum of a guitar, the beat of a drum, the melody of a voice, it really can save your mortal soul... oh, Don McLean! -me

Society:
"The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Our founding fathers said a standing army would be the death of civilization." -Mr. Falgren, my American Political and Economic history teacher

Fuck society. -me

Fear:

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear." -Ambrose Redmoon

Fear is there for a reason, a survival instinct, but constantly living in fear will ruin your life. Living above fear will exhilarate you as your exercise your inner Divinity. -me

An amazing talk given by Elizabeth Gilbert, author of Eat, Pray, Love:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86x-u-tz0MA

I beg of you.

2010-06-05T17:55:00.000-07:00

'Life is not about external achievement,' she said.

But the critics, ashamed, for they had bled,

Scoffed at her remark.

Life is about achieving, doing, creating that spark.

'But that spark can ignite from within,' she pleaded,

Hoping their concrete minds could be kneaded.

Unwilling to admit their life was a waste,

They turned up their noses,

And stormed away in anger-ridden haste.

Impermanence and the mind.

2010-05-17T15:21:00.001-07:00

When we hold grudges, we hold on to the past, and the past exists only in our minds. Think about it. The past has passed, so does it exist? Only in our minds. Our minds keep us trapped, and that's why our liberation, our true freedom lies in cultivating a life above the intellect.

Have you ever noticed that you can't shut it off when you want to, that you're enslaved to your to-do list, always on the move - doing, doing, doing? It seems to be the American way. And look at us! People in the East are much happier than us, especially the poor people of the villages. I've seen it. What does that say about this way of living?

If we let go of our grudges, we learn forgiveness, because people can change in a matter of days, even moments. I know I change on a daily basis, because I'm fluid and open to it.

Did you know that it's been scientifically proven that subatomic particles can disappear and reappear? We are made of this stuff! And who's to say that they come back exactly the same every time? I believe that people who are more open are more fluid, and they experience changes in their subatomic particles. I'm no scientist though.

I just read this online:

"Along the way, researchers also hope to solve the myth-like question of how a subatomic particle can suddenly disappear, then reappear."

Also, my Guru, Sadhguru, talks about this, that subatomic particles change every second or millisecond, something crazy fast like that, but I know that many of you may not consider him a credible source.

If this isn't enough, I highly encourage you to do your own research. Knowledge is power.

When we hold grudges, we hold on to the idea of what that person was, not what they could be.

Look at your own life or the lives of people you know. We all go through change - change of the mind, change of the body, change of the emotions, and for those of you who practice certain kinds of yoga, we can also go through a change in the energy body.

Territory.

2010-05-17T15:19:00.000-07:00

Until we reach spiritual Enlightenment, our ultimate destiny, we really do act like animals. I believe that we are animals, just more evolved animals.

Let me give you two examples.

Let's say Mindy and Cindy consider each other "best friends" and Mindy befriends Francine. Cindy becomes jealous of Francine, because Mindy is "her best friend". It's territorial.

And have you noticed that we all "need our own space"? Whether we have our own house or a place where we sleep, it's "our space", and we don't like other people messing with the way we have set it up. It's territorial.

This Indian mythologist put it so poignantly: We are all like a bunch of territorial dogs.

My Guru talks about how his dogs pee all over his house to mark their territory.

We may not pee, but we're totally territorial.

Mirror, mirror.

2010-05-17T15:18:00.001-07:00

The way we experience our lives is a mirror of our minds.

The other day, I was feeling self-conscious and isolated in my mind. Everyone who looked at me in the store looked judgmental, and I just wanted to leave.

Then, a few days later, I was super happy and confident in my mind, and everyone I looked at in the same store gave me good vibes, smiled at me, made me feel comfortable and loved.

When you love yourself, the whole world loves you.

xoxoxoxo

Men and baths.

2010-05-16T15:47:00.000-07:00

I've been watching alot of movies lately, and I thought this one part of I'm with Lucy was pretty interesting even though the movie wasn't so great. She said something along the lines of:

Guys don't like baths because then they have to be with the quietness and reflect. That's why they like showers. They like the noise of the water.

Isn't that funny? It makes alot of sense to me.

A guy who can enjoy a bath is more feminine, more receptive, and all we are as human beings is a certain balance of masculine and feminine energy, no matter if our physical bodies were born masculine or feminine.

Clearing the clutter.

2010-04-26T17:04:00.000-07:00

Life clutter, that is.

I'm engaged in the process, a liberating, painful process. It feels like I'm ripping my heart, even my skin apart, but now I can create a new life for myself. I'm in a perfect place to do that. I'm kinda like silly putty, wet clay.

I remember a friend of mine, Mallory, saying something so insightful a while back:

"Sometimes destruction can make way for the new."

For example, I'm cutting Gossip Girl out of my life, my favorite TV show. It's just extra drama, poisonous in my life. And unfortunately, this also includes distance from people who are dear to my heart, even hobbies. It's rough, especially to break free from compulsions, ingrained habits of living, but it's all for the best.

And I have more time to focus on myself - my quality of happiness and health and being creative - particularly writing a book.

Be expecting a book full of life and love and lessons and spirituality by yours truly very soon!

Divination systems.

2010-04-24T23:21:00.000-07:00

So, I've just recently discovered a passion of mine for Divination systems. I've always been interested, but I was too scared to really delve into it until now. And I feel as if I wasn't meant to until now.

I swear this book called out to me today at the book store, energetically. :)

The Oracle Book

I feel much more grounded now that I have access to my own intuition through a Divination system.

Nature, Stillness, Spirituality and Love

2010-04-21T18:48:00.000-07:00

This article will hopefully be published on CultureUnplugged!

As interpersonal relationships are a priority for many of us to feel and share love, an intimate relationship with nature is a much-needed daily dose of love in our lives. Here’s the way I see it: nature and stillness are interchangeable just like spirituality and love, and all four of these are interconnected.

Let’s start with love. Love is the recurring, underlying theme of all the religions in the world, regardless of the religion being organized or individual, regardless of the beliefs behind the religion, the spirituality, what have you.

The importance of our love relationship with nature has recently been touched on in a movie out in theaters, current issue of a monthly magazine and a 2010 New York Times bestselling book. I can also back my theory up with first-hand experience in the way nature has transformed my life.

The new movie Avatar is about a culture focused on spirituality and nature, conveying the importance of a relationship with nature on a different planet, Pandora. IMDb, the internet movie database, describes the plot as follows:

“In the future, Jake, a paraplegic war veteran, is brought to another planet, Pandora, which is inhabited by the Na'vi, a humanoid race with their own language and culture. Those from Earth find themselves at odds with each other and the local culture.”

Those from Earth also have corresponding Avatar bodies which they can inhabit through a connection of the body’s nervous system to the corresponding Avatar body.

There was one scene in the movie that especially moved me. A female Na’vi, Neytiri, was teaching Jake the culture of connecting with life on Pandora. Jake sat on a wild female creature, trying to tame and ride her, and Neytiri gently yet passionately told him:

“Feel her. Feel her heartbeat; feel her breath; feel her strong legs.”

Then, he connected the end of his hair on his Na’vi Avatar body to a corresponding part on her body, and the creature would do whatever he thought.

A common teaching in various Eastern religions is to merge the subject with the object for a feeling of oneness, of interconnectedness. I just recently returned from a spiritual journey at a multi-religious ashram in India, where my Guru said that the only person who can feel the true beauty of the sunset is the one who merges with it, not one who tries to intellectually understand or identify it.

During another scene in Avatar, when Jake returned to his life as a human, he said:

“Everything is backwards now, like out there is the true world and in here is the dream.”

To me, this says a lot about our loss of respect for our relationships, our interconnectedness with all life, not just for each other but to all life on this planet as a human being here.

The May/June 2010 issue of Adbusters, Journal of the Mental Environment, is an Ecopsychology issue. This month's edition is described on their website as follows:

“As nature becomes more and more ravaged, humans are increasingly unable to cope with reality. Our new issue explores the links between planetary death and the unraveling of the human psyche. How is the annihilation of our ecological home causing us to move through the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance? Will we need to embark on a program of ecotherapy to heal the planet and ourselves?”

One of the articles in this issue entitled A simpler, Freer Life, insights from Thoreau for Earth Day, touches on Henry David Thoreau’s wisdom into how we should live our lives. His words are mentioned as follows:

“Most men,” he wrote, “even in this comparatively free country, through mere ignorance or mistake, are so occupied with factitious cares and superfluously coarse labors of life that its finer fruits cannot be plucked by them.” By a “seeming fate,” there was “no time to be anything but a machine.”

And for what? People’s lives were being “plowed into the soil for compost” just to obtain “splendid houses” and “finer and more abundant clothing … and the like.” But as Thoreau was to insist: “Superfluous wealth can buy superfluities only.” Indeed he claimed that “most of the luxuries, and many of the so-called comforts of life, are not only not indispensable but positive hindrances to the elevation of mankind.” More concerned about accumulating nice things or climbing the social ladder than they were about their own destinies, people astounded Thoreau with how “frivolous” they were with respect to their own lives – as if they could “kill time without injuring eternity.”

What I take from that is Thoreau knows that the key to “elevation of mankind” is to respect nature, not to use it for selfish over-consumption, which leads to “injuring eternity.”

I find Adbusters to be especially poignant when they mention ecotherapy while describing the focus of their current issue. I often wonder why some people don’t focus on their end of the relationship with nature. Nature nourishes our well-being through this ecotherapy, so we should be just as responsible. Just to name one example, trees naturally convert carbon dioxide into oxygen for us, correcting the emissions of harsh gases that have come about ever since the beginning of the Industrial Age. Think about it like this: would you ever just stop picking up phone calls from your family or friends? These are the people close to you, who take care of you, whom you form relationships with.

Then there’s the 2010 New York Times bestselling book, Eat, Pray, Love, which is also coming out as a movie starring Julia Roberts this August. This memoir written by Elizabeth Gilbert describes her journey to Italy for pleasure, India for spirituality and Bali to strike a balance between the two.

During her last night in an ashram, a spiritual community, in India, Elizabeth runs outside and hugs a tree in the middle of the night, motivated by her gratitude for life. Being there with her in this book throughout her spiritual journey, I could see that she had obviously grown significantly during her stay at the ashram.

As I previously mentioned, I also recently returned from a spiritual journey at an ashram in India. I learned to tap into my inner stillness, to see the stillness in nature, along with the love that grows out of stillness.

I took four yoga programs at the ashram where I went through certain experiences to learned meditation, daily meditative practices and ways to live my life and be with other forms of life. One of the programs focused on cleansing the elements, earth, fire, air, water and space, which reside in all life. According to message of this program’s benefits, the well-being of our body and mind is determined by purifying the five elements in our systems. We are made of these elements just as our planet is made of these elements. Both are made of the same physical materials. Now, let’s take a look at all the different elements in our lives.

Let’s take water, for example. Water is cleansing and renewing, no matter if we use it in the shower or spiritual ceremonies, including baptisms and dips in the sacred bodies of water in India.

Then, there’s earth. Our bodies are made of Earth, and they return to the Earth once our life is over. This is yet another example of our interconnectedness with Earth, another reason why many refer to her as Mother Earth.

Then, fire. Fire is used as a symbolism whenever humans become creative. We “light a fire” under ourselves or someone else. Fire can symbolize emotional warmth of our hearts and physical warmth when we’re cold or need to cook our food.

We need air to breathe, to live in our bodies, and without space, there would be no difference between you and me. Everything would be one. The space between us separates us in all of creation.

After the completion of all the yoga programs the ashram had to offer me, I came out feeling like a new person, twice born as they call it in India. I am now rooted in stillness and an expression of love, and I see these elements in all life forms.

Mother Theresa explains nature, stillness, spirituality and love in one amazing quote:

“We need to find God, and he cannot be found in noise and restlessness. God is the friend of silence. See how nature - trees, flowers, grass - grows in silence; see the stars, the moon and the sun, how they move in silence... We need silence to be able to touch souls.”

Psalm 46:10 in The Old Testament in the Bible also touches on the interconnectedness of God and stillness:

“Be still, and know that I am God.”

And here’s one of my favorite quotes by a Sugi Master, Do Hyun Choe:

“Stillness is what creates love
Movement is what creates life
To be still yet still moving
That is everything”

We need to find a way to get back to our roots, literally; to be still, to see the stillness of nature, to become spiritual, to live in love. Once we can do that, once we can keep up our end of our relationship with nature, an important example of love, our life in the world can become less destructive and more constructive. We can live our lives more peacefully, more loving towards what we know nourishes us. Even if we don’t understand or agree with a spiritual perspective, nature always holds up its end of our relationship, even from a scientific perspective. I have a feeling that we will see nature’s response to our love if we just take the time to show it.

I feel grateful every day when I step outside and experience nature’s energy, nature’s stillness, even nature’s aesthetics. I have a new friend, a new form of life to enjoy, respect and take care of, just as it, in turn, takes care of me.

I left, and I'm back!

2010-04-21T00:34:00.000-07:00

I just returned to America after spending 8 1/2 months in India, with about 8 months in a multi-religious ashram, Isha Yoga Center. And that's a picture of the famous Dhyanalinga Temple there - with this consecrated energy form - the perfect being - a Guru in itself.

What can I say? Life is beautiful. It's always been, but I see it now; I feel it now; I perceive it now. Every day, many times during the day, I fall in love. And I now realize that love has to be pain sometimes.

I try to do about 3 to 4 hours of yoga every day; I wear a consecrated chakra goddess around my neck along with sacred seeds from my Guru; and I feel like I'm what people in India call "twice born". For real. Like how they talk about in the movie Avatar. LOVED that movie - especially at the time I saw it in my life.

That's my new name on here now.

Now, it's time to find the balance of pleasure and spirituality in my life and live it to the fullest. Life is all about a balance.

I'm going to try to get internet for my laptop at my house, so hopefully I'll be on here more again. God bless America. Another for real.

xoxoxoxo

Image Source

Every country has a word.

2009-06-12T19:26:00.000-07:00

And if your own personal word doesn't match the word of the country you live in, then you will feel out of place.

I read this in Eat Pray Love (a beautiful and inspirational book about a woman's journey into herself), and I agree.

I was listening to a bunch of people talk about the LA Lakers basketball game on the train yesterday while I was reading Eat Pray Love, and I was reminded of America's word.

Competition.

Land of the free?

2009-06-12T18:43:00.000-07:00

America was supposedly founded on the principle of freedom, yet the lives of most modern day Americans are completely contradictory to this ideal.

Let's take credit cards, for example. We exchange a piece of plastic for an expensive thing that we don't need - most likely a technological advice that makes our lives so effortless and easy that we don't even need to really move or think to get something done.

Our technological device allows laziness becomes a daily medicine because it thinks and moves for us - the energy and flexibility of our bodies and our innate curiosity about the world outside this device is forgotten - which in turn creates a perpetual lethargia.

On top of this lethargia, debt and anxiety builds over time and we eventually reach numbness, a breaking point or the need to constantly feel powerful and in control.

In order to pay off the debt, we become stuck in a job that makes us another robot in a society. We repeat the same bullshit lines to all our business associates and clients and customers without any sense of sacred commerce - but our job title or duties somehow make us feel powerful and in control.

All for an expensive thing that we don't need.

A choice.

2009-06-09T22:50:00.000-07:00

"Two roads diverged in a wood, I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference."
- Robert Frost

Labels.

2009-06-09T21:53:00.000-07:00

Some people need structure in their lives.

Examples:
The planners
The people of the military
Those who need to pinpoint situations and people to understand them

Then there are those who take life as it comes.

Examples:
The people who go with the flow
The freelance workers
Those who are okay with not knowing what may happen or how a person defines themselves

Those who need structure typically need to label other people's sexualities. They need to know if a person is gay, straight, bisexual, transgendered - whatever label they go by.

But what about those who are attracted to women, men and transgendered people? What about those who are attracted to people with masculine and feminine characteristics? There aren't even labels for those sexualities yet!

Then there's another issue. What about those who don't want to be labeled - those who want to love who they love and have sex with whoever they want to have sex with - without the complication and confusion of defining it?

Opinions.

2009-06-09T21:40:00.000-07:00

I believe that one of the biggest downfalls of humanity is the formulation of our opinions.

These opinions have somehow made us feel smarter, more tasteful - whatever it may be - simply better than others in our own minds.

I love this.
I hate this.
This is pretty.
This is ugly.
This is right.
This is wrong.

Opinions perpetuate segregation in society.

People.

2009-05-27T22:30:00.000-07:00

I just think of people as people
Simple
No fancy gadgets or gold-plated labels
People in their own skin
Naked
Aren’t we all naked people anyway?
At home, separated from society?
Naked
Why are some idealized, prophesized, philosophized?
We can all achieve great things
If only we believe

Affirmations.

2009-05-27T22:09:00.000-07:00

My favorite cafe is called Cafe Gratitude. Each menu item is a positive affirmation. For example, the sampler plate is called "I am abudant". You say this as you place your order, and your server says this as they bring your plate to you.

Today I looked at myself in the mirror and told me what I need to do to make my life healthier. I affirmed my capability and gave myself an example of a time that I've shown my strength before.

Encourage yourself with positive affirmations.

Imitation.

2009-05-27T15:39:00.000-07:00

Imitation is suicide
When you feel that burning inside
To run and hide
Stand tall
You're a unique rose
Each of you with your stems and thorns and petals
Each of you differing in length, shape, color and fullness
Face yourself
Look yourself dead in the eye
And ask yourself
Who you are
Ask yourself what you really want.

Common misconceptions.

2009-05-26T22:12:00.000-07:00

Love and possession.
Truth and perception.
Opposites.
Often mistaken as synonymous.
Love is selfless.
Possession is selfish.
Truth is absolute.
Perception differs in each mind.

Will you pass or fail?

2009-05-26T21:28:00.000-07:00

I've noticed that life tests people at the most pivotal points.

When you're content in a monogamous relationship, people seem to come out of nowhere to attempt for your affections - sometimes they're even the ones you intensely desired in the past.

When you envision your ultimate dream in the sky, the one that brings you to tears just thinking about it, decadent treats on earth attempt to lure you away. The most prevalant of all these treats, ironically, is fear. It's hard to notice this, as fear easily transforms into a comfort, a material comfort, for example. The fear pulls the blindfold over your eyes as it whispers in your ear that it's best to be like everyone else. Then you start to think that's where you belong.

It's my theory that everyone is tested at these pivotal points in their life. Everyone has them, whatever they may be. The hardest part is recognizing and accepting these decadent treats for what they are - destruction and limitation - and striving for true fulfillment.

A quote by the founder of Isha Foundation.

2009-05-18T23:01:00.000-07:00

"Every single act, every single breath, if you make it into a spiritual process, you will see that within a few months, you will be in a completely different space where your presence will be cherished in the world. Not just human beings, even plants will respond to you in a wonderful way."
- Sadhguru

Breathing.

2009-05-18T22:56:00.000-07:00

Breathing.
Simple and effortless.
Yet it's the life force that sustains us.

There's multiple meanings in there.

India.

2009-05-18T22:25:00.000-07:00

I recently participated in a 7-day yoga program called Inner Engineering hosted by Isha Foundation. It opened a miraculous door for my life and started to change me in ways that I never even imagined. Although I had a job at the time, I sent them my resume on a whim, and they said that if I was serious about it, that I could move to India. Then I got laid off from my job. It feels like fate intervened.

In July, I'm going to go live in Isha Foundation's ashram in Coimbatore, India and volunteer for them. I'll be helping the community and continuing along my sadhana, or spiritual path. This is a dream come true. I've always been attracted to India's culture, and when I created my most recent dream board before all of this even happened (where I paste pictures and words about my ideal future), I put the word India on there!

I'm going to stay there indefinitely. I'm selling most of my belongings and going there with a hiking backpack, sleeping bag, water bottle, necessities and a few other things. In a backpack. And I'm so excited!

Save the rainforest with Tropicana!

2009-05-17T13:11:00.001-07:00

Tropicana is hosting a campaign that made me fall in love with their cartons of OJ - Rescue the Rainforest.

Until the end of 2009, Tropicana is partnering up with a company called Cool Earth to secure forests once belonging to logging companies, opening them up to harvesters of forest produce. Each specially marked Tropicana product you buy preserves 100 square feet of endangered rainforest in the Ashaninka Corridor in Peru. The exotic wildlife and one of the largest surviving ethnic tribes in Peru are now given proper living conditions thanks to Tropicana and Cool Earth.

Did you also know that the destruction of rainforests emits significant amounts of greenhouse gases?

I remember a project from 3rd grade about my dream trip to the Peruvian rainfest, and now I've saved 500 square feet of this beautiful landmark.

Oh Tropicana, how I love thee!

Photo Source 1, 2

Prima Jiva and The Daraja Academy.

2009-05-17T12:08:00.000-07:00

I attended a fashion show in Walnut Creek on Thursday night showcasing clothing from the fashion line, Prima Jiva. What I especially enjoyed about the line was the perfect combination of style and comfort. Some people even do yoga in these clothes. If I had extra spending money, I can almost guarantee that I would have bought something, especially since 15% of the proceeds from the fashion show were donated to the Daraja Academy, the first secondary school for girls in all of east Africa.

The first group of girls started school at the Daraja Academy in February of this year. I read a portfolio belonging to one of these young girls whose name is Betty. Her beautiful, bright smile indicated her enthusiasm to learn and love. She wrote an essay for the Daraja Academy about her first African safari to present to people who could potentially fund the school . I was talking to Mark, one of the board members who attended Prima Jiva's fashion show, about the surprising fact that the natives don't even get to go on African safaris, although most Americans think that's just an everyday thing in Africa. Betty was immersed in the whole experience, explaining the journey, the animals and how she felt. She was so grateful for the opportunity, and my being a part of that moment was so beautiful.

Photo Source 1, 2

Simple Spirituality.

2009-05-17T11:59:00.001-07:00

I was just reading a blog entry by my favorite blogger, Rachelle Mee-Chapman AKA Magpie Girl, which totally inspired me. As always.

She pointed out the importance of finding spirituality in the little things in life.

I truly think that each moment is full of love and you just have to tap into the all-consuming, simple beauty of that very moment. Your present. My everyday spirituality today is knowing thyself. As I become more in tune with myself - my body, mind, emotions, energies - I’m starting to figure out what I want. I made a delicious breakfast this morning with the free food I was given from volunteering with Free the Need - exactly what I was craving - thinly sliced potatoes with olive oil, salt, and pepper. Mmmm. I even proclaimed "Damn! I'm a baller cooker!" with incorrect grammar and all! Yeah, I hang out with a lot of guys.

Now there's a simple, little moment that made me really happy.

Renewed energies.

2009-05-16T15:51:00.000-07:00

Modern science is proving that everything in our existence is made of the same energy. This energy is also known as atoms - each atom complete with protons, neutrons, and electrons.

Now my take on it is that once this energy manifests anew, that's when life gives you that rush - whether it's invigorating or excruciating.

Intimate relationships can remain exciting if the excitement is maintained. People have second marriage ceremonies, spice it up in the bedroom, etc. However, I think that society as a whole fails to realize this, and many relationships exist amongst boredom, routine, and comfort, especially with media messages and older generations telling us that relationships inevitably will become stale.

Meditation, including any activity that makes your mind one-pointed, produces new energy throughout the body. You feel those atoms rushing through your system, tingling and producing.

When you travel, experiencing new culture, food, people and places, wonderous intrigue enters your current existence. You may never even knew life like this existed, and this new information, this new experience, this new energy, manifests.

And since life is always changing - you get laid off, you move, you break up, your perceptions change - shouldn't we learn to embrace the energy made anew instead of get depressed about it? Can't a crisis become an opportunity?

I mean, what would life be like if nothing ever changed?

8 Things Thursdays!

2009-05-15T00:30:00.000-07:00

So I know it's technically Friday morning, but I got home late tonight. :)

8 Things I want to do before I die:

Help restore and preserve a rainforest.
Publish a book.
Immerse myself in the culture of a Native American village.
Make a lifelong commitment to someone who always melds to be my perfect corresponding puzzle piece.
Raise a child.
Throw vegan, let's-help-the-world-and-have-the-time-of-our-lives parties complete with delicious food, beautiful people, and dancing!
Become a teacher in an underdeveloped community.
Make a significant impact for the ethical treatment of animals.

Current fave.

2009-05-11T23:54:00.000-07:00

"All I can do is be me, whoever that is."
- Bob Dylan

Meditation.

2009-05-11T23:18:00.000-07:00

Meditation is an all-consuming experience. And meditation can be anything - dancing, doing the dishes, practicing yoga - whatever brings together the creator and the creation - whatever shows you that everything in your current existence is simple and full of beauty. I find the smallest moments gratifying and divine when I meditate - a light brush of my own skin feels fresh and beautiful - a renewed energy flows through my entire body. I'm grateful for my body - my temple. Meditation reminds me of my purpose and keeps me grounded through a transitional period in my life. And isn't life always transitional?

Ohm. Shanti. <3

Photo Source

Midnights with the Mystic.

2009-05-09T11:21:00.000-07:00

A Story of Simple Spirituality

Midnights with the Mystic, an Amazon bestseller with a foreward by Richard from Texas, a character in Eat, Pray, Love, is a spiritual book for people of all beliefs and faiths. I’m a scatter-brained writer who usually doesn’t read a book from start to finish, and this was one of the rare beauties that captivated my ever-wandering mind. You know when you buy something that was totally made just for you? Like fate intervened and brought you two together in material matrimony? That’s what this book became for me and many others who read the story before (and probably after) me.

Do you keep striving for a goal, only to find that once you can dub yourself victorious, that you’re still not happy? Have you ever comtemplated the ever-so-seductive possibility of a soulmate? Do you feel isolated in a world full of people?

This story illuminates the answers as it flips a light switch within you that’s always existed but was somehow lost amongst all the drama. Cheryl Simone, a successful American real estate agent, gets the amazing opportunity to spend 5 days at her lake house in the mountains of North Carolina with a world-renowned mystic and yogi from Southern India, Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev, who doesn’t prescribe to any religion in particular. He answers all of her most pressing questions about life and the possibility of something more.

Like all spiritual journeys, I can’t put the magic into words, but this book simplifies life and love for those who are willing.

Buy the book here.

Photo Source

The separation stigma.

2009-04-05T22:55:00.001-07:00

The separation stigma. I seem to hear it more now - most likely because of my heightened awareness of my surroundings through my growth. I hear people judging others, saying "I don't like them", talking about a physical appearance they don't approve of, or saying that a person is "too good" to be dating "so and so". I am so saddened to see this. The separation between people as individuals and groups with other groups is heartwrenching! Why do they need to feel superior? Why do they need to judge others? Criticize others? Exclude others?

Are they really that insecure?

That question is obviously rhetorical.

America needs a serious inner makeover.

United we stand. Divided we fall.

This is a facet of the division. Of the economic downfall. Of humanity's downfalls.

Do you see the correlation there?

Gay rights.

2009-03-23T22:46:00.000-07:00

Today marks the beginning of the 5-day long march from Berkeley to Sacramento in an effort to repeal Proposition 8. One Struggle, One Fight, a beloved community that stands for equality, has organized this march to affect change in California’s Supreme Court and connect with communities along the way.

I believe that gay rights are important because every single one of us lives in the United States of America. United is the key word there. We need to respect and support each other despite our differences, especially in tough times like these.

I feel very passionately about gay rights, and I'm not in a homosexual relationship looking to marry. I’m not even in a homosexual relationship. However, I see the hatred and the inequality (in America, of all countries!), and it breaks my heart. I’ve heard stories about those who’ve been scared for their lives, killed themselves, or been beaten. I see this beautiful nation being destroyed. We're becoming the Separated States of America.

These superiority complexes will push us over the edge, economically and socially, and we'll keep falling until none of us can pick ourselves back up. It's not just about gay rights! It's about accepting someone different than yourself in the way that you would want someone to accept you. It's about people being able to respect others despite who they have sex with, the color of their skin, or how much money they make.

When I look into someone's eyes, their outer appearance fades away. It's once we can look past that shell and into the real person that we will all be able to coexist peacefully and save our nation.

Humans.

2009-03-18T22:02:00.001-07:00

All too often, we, as humans, need to find love in someone else - a friend, a family member, a lover, a pet. Why? Why can't we be happy and find love alone, in ourselves? Have you ever taken a look in the mirror and really looked yourself in the eyes? It can be pretty intense if you really see. The eyes really are the windows to the soul.

I mean, have you ever heard the saying that if you don't love yourself that you can't love someone else? It's because if you don't tap into that light, that love, which dwells in each and every one of us, you won't experience real love. It will be a suppressed part of your being.

I wish people could understand that they are love. We are all love, regardless of gender, color, sexual preference, culture, light-switch-turned-on-ness. That's what makes us all equal. That's why it's in the Declaration of Independence. That's why minorities deserve civil rights. That's why everyone everywhere deserves civil rights.

Even a turned off light switch has the ability to turn back on. To tap into that love. To bring it back to the surface. It's never too late to be in love.

BTW - I started out with "we" because I'm still learning how to apply this in my life. It's a huge transition, as society often makes us believe the exact opposite of this concept. But it's truth. We are all light. We are all love. We are all one.

The light switch.

2009-03-16T23:54:00.000-07:00

People are like light switches. Some are turned on, some are switched off, and some linger in the center, waiting to be flipped up or flipped down.

Those who are on shine. They really do. They are full of intuition and compassion and love. They have this energy and power in their presence. They're awe-inspiring to others, unless these others have an ego problem and start to get jealous of this person.

Those who are off are dim. Sometimes even dark. It's all in the eyes. The presence. The way you feel them when they walk by. They feel alone. They lost their love for life. In general, they are convinced that they have no purpose, there is no spirituality in the world, and if there is, God hates them.

Then there are those who linger in the middle. These are easily impressionable followers of trends, of those they admire. Easily influenced in general. They're unsure of themselves, their lives, their purpose. They could be switched on or off, but they feel comfortable doing what everyone else is doing.

There's also people who will be between stages at turning points in their lives.

Change.

2009-03-16T10:08:00.000-07:00

Why are people so opposed to change?

Do you worry about someone or some group of people will think of you? That society is more accepting of a habitual lifestyle? Because that's what you should strive for? That's what will make you a "stable", "normal" person? Or is it that new territory is scary? In general, people can't fully enjoy themselves in the present moment because they always feel that there is something to worry about. Are you worrying because you don't know what could happen? Because it's safe to stick with what you know?

I think it's different for different people. But the only constant is change. It's inevitable.

Then there's the people who embrace change.
And the people who can embrace change but can always be opposed to it, depending on the circumstances.
People are so interesting.

Transformation.

2009-03-12T20:53:00.000-07:00

Have you ever taken the time to listen to all the lyrics in the songs on your favorite playlist?

When I finally did, I started seeing how the negativity in my life was fed by this music that I was listening to.

What you surround yourself with - music, people, art, even your room decor - is what your life is. If you listen to angry music, you'll be angry. If you draw and paint broken hearts, you'll have a rough love life. If you surround yourself with liars, you'll be a liar. That's truth. And it applies to each and every one of your lives. Be objective and take a walk around the place you live in. Then tell me I'm wrong.

I'm slowly enhancing the quality of my life through music.

I have peaceful, inspirational music on my new playlists. I deleted those angry, sad, degrading, and/or egotistical songs that I can't believe actually used to make up my life.

I'm also donating my materialistic things.

I used to be known as "Fashionista" amongst friends and family. I used to dress up on an almost-if-not-daily basis to feel better about myself (It's one thing to dress up but quite another if you do it to overcompensate for something you feel like you're missing). I shopped at stores that were "trendy" and stores that ripped off other designers' original creations and sold them at a cheap price. I wore animals and shoes that massacred my feet. I've donated alot of my things lately - which also helped two thrift stores that support important causes. WEAVE - a thrift store that helps female victims of domestic violence and Goodwill - one that offers so many programs to people who are struggling to survive - employment help, rehabilitation, scholarships. Oh how I love Goodwill. As hard as it was to part with my materialistic things, I helped humanity AND lessened my ego.

The materialistic things are part of the ego - and that ego must go. Little by little, it must diminish. It's certainly a process.

Something else I want to touch on - ego is such a commonly used and misunderstood word.

Typically when someone speaks of an ego, it's someone who is "full of themselves". Sure that's part of it - but it also means stimulating any of your senses. It's feeding your desire. Desire for anything creates suffering, and suffering creates desire. It's a perpetual entrapment - if you allow yourself to live in its claws - which alot of people do. Tasty food, alcohol, caffeine, buying something "cute" or "pretty", wanting to own or dominate someone else - that's all ego.

My ideology is that people should only eat to honor their body's needs, live life without any stimulants (alcohol, caffeine, etc.), enjoy the natural and magical elements this universe has to offer in its many forms, work to better themselves and the world around them daily, abide by the golden rule, find love in everything and everyone, and be able to survive with something as small as a full backpack. But how hard is that?! Even for me, someone who understands how things should be, I'm struggling.

The main thing is that I'm slowly enhancing the quality of my life. Even if it is slowly - it's better than not at all.

I'm making that effort. I'm giving up that drama. I'm flailing in that struggle. But I'm being objective and honest with myself to better myself as a person. To reach the light at the end of the tunnel.

We're all capable of this. However, it requires tremendous effort and concentration. As much as I love my country, most people who live in it like to live a socially acceptable, conventional, lazy-minded and/or status quo-focused life. I'll never be that person.

There's this great quote at my favorite cafe - Cafe Gratitude - that goes something like this: "Those who let go of the world can have it all." That's what I'm workin' on, folks. And if you care about bettering the world, ALL OF IT, you can do it too. But it has to be a selfless act. You have to diminish and destroy that ever-so-seductive ego of yours.

Namaste.

Cheating.

2008-12-30T10:47:00.001-08:00

When someone in a relationship cheats, they're looking for a way out. When you sense any kind of trouble, you have to talk about it. Both parties have to reach an agreement. No matter how heart wrenching it may be. Communication beforehand is imperative and could avoid a potentially devastating situation.

The balance.

2008-12-18T00:50:00.001-08:00

Everyone has good and evil within them. Everyone makes mistakes, everyone "sins". It's our balance. We are human. The best and the worst of what each one of us can do is within all of us. It's true, and I don't think that's depressing, as some may infer from that. We are all capable of Einstein's knowledge and Martin Luther King, Jr.'s leadership. Every move we make in life is a decision, even the little things, like "bullshitting a paper". They define who we really are. Actions really do speak louder than words. They're decisions: rational and emotional ones. And sometimes they're pretty complex.

Inspiring Leaders.

2008-12-17T22:22:00.000-08:00

"Tonight, we gather to affirm the greatness of our nation - not because of the height of our skyscrapers, or the power of our military, or the size of our economy. Our pride is based on a very simple premise, summed up in a declaration made over two hundred years ago."
- Barack Obama

"Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."
- Buddha

Betsey Johnson.

2008-12-17T20:52:00.000-08:00

One of the contenders for Michelle Obama's Inaugural dress! Patriotic. Sexy. Flattering. And Heart of Gold shoes?! Psh, I should be the first lady. Just so I can wear this to the Inaugural Ball. ;)

Photo Source

Another deep discussion.

2008-12-13T01:10:00.001-08:00

Don't you love those discussions with people? I know I do.

Fate.

Fate is defined as "predetermined", right?

I think the person who "invented" that definition is closed-minded. I think this because most people will see a predeterminded life for themselves and resent it. Life is a choice. It's your choice. It's who you are. And you change constantly. As according to Buddha, "The only constant in life is change." There is a balance between "fate" and control of your life (This is just my opinion though).

Occurences in your life are determined by you. It's your life, right? However, I do believe that to live in the ideal circumstances, to grow, to help others, to reach spritual enlightenment, there is a choice that is best. In Taoism, this is called The Tao, or The Way. No matter how many choices you are presented with at whatever point in your life, it's still your choice. And you could make the right or wrong decision. However, I think that even if you make the wrong choice in a certain circumstance, you can always return to the path of enlightenment. Just make sure you don't stray too far away.

My Friday night (Saturday morning) epiphany.

2008-12-13T01:06:00.003-08:00

My hopes and my dreams are to change this world for the better.. even if I don't get famous.

Believe.

2008-12-12T00:25:00.001-08:00

"To believe is to know that every day is a new beginning. It is to trust that miracles happen, and dreams really do come true. To believe is to see angels dancing among the clouds, To know the wonder of a stardust sky and the wisdom of the man in the moon. To believe is to know the value of a nurturing heart, The innocence of a child’s eyes and the beauty of an aging hand, for it is through their teachings we learn to love. To believe is to find the strength and courage that lies within us. When it is time to pick up the pieces and begin again. To believe is to know we are not alone, That life is a gift and this is our time to cherish it. To believe is to know that wonderful surprises are just waiting to happen, And all our hopes and dreams are within reach. If only we believe."
- Author Unknown

Yin-Yang.

2008-12-11T15:50:00.000-08:00

Yin-Yang
Part of Speech: n
Definition:
in Chinese philosophy, the two cosmic forces of creative energy, yin being feminine/negative and yang being masculine/positive, from which everything originates and depends on the interaction of the opposite and complementary principles

There's this book that I'm currently enthralled with called The Secret Language of Love.

"In Chinese philosophy, the whole universe is infused with the opposing yet complementary powers of yin and yang, representing essential female and male qualities. The symbol for yin and yang symbolizes their mutual dependence- two perfectly integrated halves unite to form a complete, harmonious circle."

Life is a struggle to find a balance, right?. This is where the yin-yang comes into play for me.

The balance.

I'm bisexual. And I've always had a theory that everyone is bisexual: not that they'll necessarily have sex with everyone/anyone of the same sex, but attraction will exist to both sexes in at least some small way. Everyone finds their balance. In terms of how I live my life, I'm about 75/25, in favor of women. However, I'm in love with a metrosexual man right now.

Referring to Buddhist beliefs, the masculine and the feminine dwell within us. In American modern society, some women are tomboys, and some men are metrosexual, right? We all have our own masculine/feminine balance individually. I know I'm a total "girly girl" in society's eyes, but sometimes I act like a guy, and I even get along better with guys most of the time. I would say my balance is 70/30 with femininity dominating.

Now let's take dark and light into account. Light is day and night is dark. Both exist to serve different purposes and are based on the rising and setting of a life force, the Sun. Another way to look at dark and light is with a person. A person can be full of light- vibrant, animated, good-natured, friendly. However, they can have a dark side that seldom shows - dark dreams, secrets, experiences, judgment on others. And a "dark side" doesn't necessarily mean that they're a bad person or that they're evil. It's just the balance. It's truth. Everyone has their balance. My balance is still developing as I grow spiritually.

And then there's positive and negative, as mentioned in the dictionary definition. Without negativity, how would we appreciate positivity? What would we compare it to? That's why there must be an appreciation for both.

Yin-yang is so significant to me. It creates an interconnected, balanced universe, and must be strived for and understood within the individual for a happy, healthy life to grow and learn through. You must find your balance, and balance isn't necessarily 50/50.

A Beautiful Girl.

2008-12-01T21:18:00.001-08:00

"A beautiful girl can make you dizzy, like you been drinkin' jack and coke all morning. She can make you feel high for the single greatest commodity known to man: promise. Promise of a better day, promise of a greater hope, promise of a new tomorrow. This particular aura can be found in the gait of a beautiful girl: in her smile, and in her soul, and in the way that she makes everything rotten little thing about life seem like it's gonna be okay."
- intro to Taking Back Sunday's "Greatest Romances of the 20th Century"

So inspirational.

2008-11-27T16:59:00.001-08:00

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking, so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
- Nelson Mandela

The Invitation.

2008-11-23T18:09:00.000-08:00

"It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing. It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive. It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon... I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes, without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human. It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy. I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!" It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children. It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back. It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments."
- Oriah, Mountain Dreamer